If nothing else, being thrust into a foreign culture has taught me to appreciate the life I was given. I appreciate my language more, I appreciate my culture, I appreciate home.
But, thankfully, I think I'm getting more out of this experience than just that. I can feel myself striving toward the boundaries that I once had and pushing my comfort level to the max. This isn't something that I welcomed at first, but I'm fascinated by the growth it offers.
I've found that my favorite thing about being so uncomfortable is how it causes me to cling to God. I'm here away from everything that makes me feel comfortable. I'm away from most of the people I love, from my home, most of my belongings. The only thing that is absolutely familiar and comforting is God, and I find myself turning to Him time and time again.
I didn't realize going into this experience how spiritual it would be for me. I heard stories about the places I would visit, I saw pictures of the beautiful mountains, I read books about the dangers I would encounter. I never once pondered on my relationship with God and how it would mold my time abroad.
This past weekend, for example, was a huge challenge for me. For whatever reason, free-travel absolutely terrifies me. Maybe because we no longer have the security of a group of 20 people. We don't have pre-planned trains and tried-and-true places to sleep. We are completely on our own figuring all of that out.
That being said, we were in Prague for a couple of days, and it required us getting up at 3 in the morning to head to the train station (across town, via our feet) to catch the train that would take us back to Vienna.
I woke up feeling absolutely sick. I could hear people still partying it up from the night before, and I wanted nothing to do with the trek across town.
I prayed, hard, that God would just let us be invisible. (It sounds a little silly in reflection, but at the time it was what I needed). I prayed that He would cover us with His protection and carry us safely to the train station without any messy encounters with the locals.
One person acknowledged us. The entire walk across town, past multiple clubs that were still flashing their disco balls, past handfuls of people nursing their last drinks, past a few food stands waiting for last minute customers and only one person even acted like we existed.
It's moments like these that I'm encountering on a daily basis here, and it's absolutely beautiful. It's scary, it's uncertain, and there are times when I'm relatively positive my nerves can't take any more.
But, I look back to the beginning of the summer and I see growth. I see myself striving towards God. I see Him leading me through this web of challenges and confusion. I see Him showing His face in the smiles of those around me, the kind words when I don't deserve them, the friendships sprouting out of thin air, and the beautiful souls that are our sponsors.
So, after that bombardment of randomness, I'll share a verse that one of the aforementioned beautiful sponsors shared at our devo tonight. It really hit home, was a huge encouragement, and definitely offers peace to get me through these last three weeks.
"The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?
When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.
.....
I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord"
Psalm 27
God is good and He is moving. He's moving in my heart, He's moving in my life, and He's moving in this foreign town we're calling home for the time being.
19 days until our feet touch American soil once again, and my heart is torn. Going home is going to be about as bitter sweet as it can get.
But here's to knowing, with full confidence, that my God is bigger than anything this world can throw at me.
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